i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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