i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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