He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
