This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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