He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I forgot wine drunk hurts
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
