Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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