Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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