we have pet lesbian snakes
You smell like a Billy Joel song
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
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