you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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