you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
