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Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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