I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Are we still banned from the library?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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