So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
