I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
