he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
