was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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