and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Randomize