All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out