I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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