So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
We need a shit load of segways right now
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
