I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?