Texts From Last Night

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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Stop texting me, I'm right here.

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  (502): im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards. (773): Stop texting me, I'm right here. http://tfl.nu/1yrs
  Replies (8) Good night (5389) Bad night (1472)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants

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  (816): I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants http://tfl.nu/4wl5
  Replies (40) Good night (4685) Bad night (634)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!

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  (732): I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body! http://tfl.nu/a54s
  Replies (22) Good night (4985) Bad night (854)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?

  (713): View more from Texas

  lets deal with that after we figure out where i am

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  (832): why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen? (713): lets deal with that after we figure out where i am http://tfl.nu/0phs
  Replies (21) Good night (11245) Bad night (1410)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.

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  (701): she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends. http://tfl.nu/prst
  Replies (13) Good night (1088) Bad night (4238)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.

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  (608): She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party. http://tfl.nu/e28o
  Replies (7) Good night (2636) Bad night (989)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.

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  (313): Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup. http://tfl.nu/5rlq
  Replies (5) Good night (1084) Bad night (2741)
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  (805): View more from California

  How much is that going to cost?

  (1-805): View more from California

  A lot of beer.

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  (805): How much is that going to cost? (1-805): A lot of beer. http://tfl.nu/syqn
  Replies (3) Good night (1766) Bad night (654)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music

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  (907): She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music http://tfl.nu/408g
  Replies (18) Good night (3765) Bad night (774)
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  (418): View more from Quebec

  You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner

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  (418): You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner http://tfl.nu/wvf5
  Replies (6) Good night (983) Bad night (472)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.

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  (734): Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator. http://tfl.nu/c745
  Replies (1) Good night (710) Bad night (449)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.

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  (330): All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy. http://tfl.nu/2g6m
  Replies (4) Good night (931) Bad night (387)
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  (562): View more from California

  The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons

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  (562): The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons http://tfl.nu/bjub
  Replies (0) Good night (508) Bad night (335)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.

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  (770): He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped. http://tfl.nu/bmak
  Replies (1) Good night (500) Bad night (383)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits

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  (248): Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits http://tfl.nu/a6lp
  Replies (9) Good night (621) Bad night (209)

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