Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(360): View more from Washington

i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man

(206): View more from Washington

?

(360): View more from Washington

he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!

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(360): i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man (206): ? (360): he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH! http://tfl.nu/k0fi

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(434): View more from Virginia

Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.

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(434): Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/fvia

Replies (9) Good night (3172) Bad night (878)
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(507): View more from Minnesota

We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.

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(507): We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them. http://tfl.nu/g8a0

Replies (20) Good night (3449) Bad night (931)
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(503): View more from Oregon

do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?

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(503): do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster? http://tfl.nu/6xmt

Replies (20) Good night (5039) Bad night (1125)
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(937): View more from Ohio

she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor

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(937): she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor http://tfl.nu/fo1n

Replies (51) Good night (572) Bad night (7401)
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(928): View more from Arizona

We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in

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(928): We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in http://tfl.nu/1vzn

Replies (17) Good night (6197) Bad night (908)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.

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(814): Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now. http://tfl.nu/xg11

Replies (16) Good night (6853) Bad night (2266)
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(915): View more from Texas

and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.

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(915): and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house. http://tfl.nu/ztys

Replies (7) Good night (3516) Bad night (1192)
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(605): View more from South Dakota

I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.

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(605): I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable. http://tfl.nu/f89d

Replies (7) Good night (2751) Bad night (1227)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that

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(505): Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that http://tfl.nu/xqbd

Replies (15) Good night (1380) Bad night (2564)
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(907): View more from Alaska

He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.

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(907): He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron. http://tfl.nu/g77l

Replies (15) Good night (4375) Bad night (923)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"

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(781): I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions" http://tfl.nu/b7d2

Replies (7) Good night (2438) Bad night (606)
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(561): View more from Florida

Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!

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(561): Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?! http://tfl.nu/98de

Replies (13) Good night (1162) Bad night (568)
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(561): View more from Florida

Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.

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(561): Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring. http://tfl.nu/lpoq

Replies (2) Good night (572) Bad night (276)
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(314): View more from Missouri

Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground

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(314): Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground http://tfl.nu/k9yg

Replies (1) Good night (368) Bad night (267)

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