Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.

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(202): I want to give you a handjob with my mouth. http://tfl.nu/s0yv

Replies (25) Good night (2050) Bad night (489)
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(912): View more from Georgia

I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.

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(912): I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight. http://tfl.nu/g7kq

Replies (31) Good night (7349) Bad night (694)
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(317): View more from Indiana

We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.

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(317): We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us. http://tfl.nu/q48d

Replies (7) Good night (5381) Bad night (636)
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(916): View more from California

This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here

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(916): This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here http://tfl.nu/hb41

Replies (16) Good night (4828) Bad night (1055)
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(904): View more from Florida

I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox

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(904): I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox http://tfl.nu/xijk

Replies (15) Good night (3542) Bad night (1322)
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(516): View more from New York

the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.

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(516): the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it. http://tfl.nu/0mw3

Replies (3) Good night (2078) Bad night (1060)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.

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(508): NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY. http://tfl.nu/zzc9

Replies (6) Good night (3054) Bad night (910)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.

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(609): I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from. http://tfl.nu/yx57

Replies (11) Good night (2718) Bad night (802)
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(647): View more from Ontario

I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.

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(647): I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does. http://tfl.nu/q7vv

Replies (9) Good night (1435) Bad night (461)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!

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(617): Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon! http://tfl.nu/3ja6

Replies (5) Good night (1119) Bad night (441)
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(410): View more from Maryland

We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.

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(410): We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off. http://tfl.nu/hhrd

Replies (26) Good night (4288) Bad night (562)
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(501): View more from Arkansas

I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.

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(501): I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it. http://tfl.nu/ipd9

Replies (5) Good night (1090) Bad night (759)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach

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(304): Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach http://tfl.nu/xbk1

Replies (3) Good night (557) Bad night (228)
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(989): View more from Michigan

Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?

(615): View more from Tennessee

Where's your car?

(989): View more from Michigan

The girl I brought home apparently stole it

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(989): Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station? (615): Where's your car? (989): The girl I brought home apparently stole it http://tfl.nu/7hzq

Replies (6) Good night (449) Bad night (750)
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(479): View more from Arkansas

That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn

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(479): That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn http://tfl.nu/zbjj

Replies (3) Good night (282) Bad night (406)

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