I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
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