Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
