Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
