DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Randomize
