What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
