She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
