Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
