You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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