I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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