I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
