My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
