I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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