He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize
