All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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