is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize