the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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