I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
