It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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