If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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