Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
