im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
