before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Houston, we have a blender
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
