Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize