Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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