I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
