at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
