ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
