my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
