If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
