I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
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