Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
