mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
just tell him i said nine months
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Are we still banned from the library?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Randomize
