All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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