at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
