In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
