I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
