You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Randomize
