fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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