she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
