Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
