i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
