Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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